"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I cut my penus on the lid.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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