I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
