Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
