hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
