i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
