I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
