I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
