You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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