I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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