This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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