so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
