He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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