Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
