He told me they were just razor bumps!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
