drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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