Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
