I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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