ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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