Have you finally orgasmed yet?
even my farts smell like vagina
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
