I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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