I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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