is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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