Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
