i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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