i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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