It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize