first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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