I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
