I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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