it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Two words: nipple clamps
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