she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
