its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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