I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
