we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
