It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Congratulations! We have a period
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