the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
