Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
