My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
