Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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