I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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