Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
