I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
