Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
