Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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