Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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