I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
