there's paper in my vomit.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Panties = found
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