Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
