If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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