so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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