It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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