why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
