the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
