Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
