I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
