Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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