i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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