just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
