girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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