Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
