hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
