Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im drinking this country out of the recession.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
