Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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