bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
