He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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